'War on men!' Mark Dolan SLAMS woke re-writes of classic fairy tales painting men as villains

Rapunzel is a property mogul from renting out her tower and Sleeping Beauty becomes rich from interest earned during her 100 year long sleep. Sounds a bit like Raducanu, who earns a reported £12 million a year without playing much tennis.

“Do we need rewritten fairy tales to tell women that they can do what the hell they want and achieve great things? Far be it from me to speak for womankind, but I personally find it extraordinarily patronising to women. You go, girl, you can start a business and everything.

WATCH NOW: MARK DOLAN SLAMS WOKE FAIRY TALES

Did Margaret Thatcher, JK Rowling or Taylor Swift need these little pep talks? The updated books are rebranded from fairy tales to fairer tales. Pass me the sick bag.

Fairer tales. A term which echoes the tedious, progressive grift that everyone is either a victim or an oppressor. The victim in this case, poor little delicate women who need this condescending propaganda and who need to be protected from the ultimate enemy, the opposite sex.

Look, I support the messaging of the stories. I don't have daughters, but if I did, I'd be telling them every nanosecond to get out there and conquer the world. But not only does this prevailing mentality of victimhood belittle the protected class, in this case women, it creates an enemy, a culprit, a persecutor, an enslaver, and in these books, it's men.

Why does female emancipation come at the price of demonising half the population? Well, that's the woke dynamic. You have the good guys and the bad guys. The bad guys these days being blokes.

This man hating narrative is the soup du jour of the modern, modern world, with even companies like Gillette, whose customer base is predominantly male, making an advert attacking the people that buy their razors for having so-called toxic masculinity.

Now, I will grant you the original fairy tales are of course old-fashioned, and I don't think anyone believes that a kiss from a handsome Prince or his hand in marriage is the answer to any modern woman's problems. Although with house prices the way they are, I'd kiss anyone to live in a castle.

But when we read the original stories, and no doubt Raducanu who read them as a child, we don't take them literally. These are ancient tales of love, of magic and of fantasy. They're not charged with social messaging. They weren't written with the aim of fixing the world or correcting wrong thing.

And I think it's a bit harsh on poor old Prince Charming to be dumped in this way. And what kind of messaging is it to young girls growing up that men are bad and that women don't need them? What is this ****? We all need each other. Men need men. Men need women. Women need men, women need women. Welcome to the clown world of 2023, where I have to point that out, and I won't take any lectures from HSBC who are behind this advert.

​I'd love to know how many territories in the world they do business with, that persecute women and give them no rights whatsoever, as well as mortgages, bank loans and savings accounts. Eye-watering double standards is what these corporations specialise in.

And I'd love to know what the policy is, the corporate policy of HSBC is, in relation to biological intact men who call themselves women, participating in female sports, tennis even, and breaking all records. When international banks become the good guys, I suggest you run for the hills.

I'm going to big up Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Rapunzel, but I'm going to big up Prince Charming too. Prince Charming is pretty useful on an oil rig. He's pretty good at laying out fresh tarmac on a motorway at 3:00am in the morning in torrential rain. Prince Charming is pretty useful going underground and clearing out sewers, building skyscrapers, laying cables in the sea, and toiling in coal mines.

Oh, and Prince Charming was pretty useful fighting for democracy, freedom, and the territorial boundaries of this country in two world wars. It's time to end this ideological war on men. This woke rewrite of Cinderella is ugly, sister.